The helplessness and hopelessness of burnout can make what we do feel pointless. We feel impotent, unable to act effectively due to overwhelm, overwork, or structural barriers. Often burnout extends into our personal lives when long hours or emotional depletion deprives us of the time or energy to engage in meaningful leisure activities.
Time off, fun, and relaxation are valuable tools in avoiding or mitigating burnout but these tools are made infinitely more powerful if imbued with a sense of purpose. Research suggests that a sense of purpose in life predicts both health and longevity. Having a sense of purpose may decrease isolation as people with a sense of purpose are rated as being more enjoyable to be around. Having a sense of purpose can make us feel anchored in who we are, enhance self esteem, and help mitigate the emotional impact of inevitable life stressors and the drudgery of day to day life.
Some find guidance about meaning and purpose in their religious faith and spiritual traditions; some make it up from scratch based on their deepest values. It can be helpful to contemplate the meaning of life and your sense of purpose through meditation, journaling, or in conversation with a trusted guide, friend, coach, or therapist. Many uncover a sense of purpose through noticing which actions and activities feel the most fulfilling.
Meaning is the reason WHY we do what we do. Meaning answers the question, “What is the point of this whole thing?” The things people identify as giving their life meaning are often broad concepts and tend to be very similar across people and cultures. Many people, for example, may cite love, relationships with others, or a higher power as what gives their life meaning. Meaning making is a cognitive process which allows us to make sense of our lives. Whether you believe a higher power gives your life meaning or you create meaning by identifying your deepest values, meaning gives us a sense of a coherent narrative as we look back on our life.
Purpose is defined by the ACTIVITIES that anchor our lives. A sense of purpose gives us a reason to get up in the morning. It’s possible to think that life is meaningless and still have a sense of purpose, e.g. a nihilist may feel their purpose is to be of service and thus spends their life helping people. Similarly, it’s possible to think that life has meaning but to have lost one's sense of purpose. A person’s purpose is often more specific and personal than what gives a person’s life meaning. We don’t say, “The purpose in life is to…” We say, “My purpose in life is to…” Examples of purpose include being a supportive loved one or community member, fighting for social justice or an environmental cause, contributing to a body of scientific research, or expressing yourself through creative endeavors.
A sense of purpose is not to be confused with setting goals. Goals are specific and measurable, e.g. lose 5 lbs, run a half marathon, or retire by age 50. Whether they are short term or long term, personal or professional, realistic or a long shot, goals are discreet things that can be put on a list and checked off one by one. While having a sense of purpose can help us achieve goals, purpose is not something that can be achieved. Purpose is more stable and far-reaching than goals. Someone may have a goal to go on tour with their band but their purpose may be to express themselves through music. Ideally our purpose includes activities that we can do regularly and on an ongoing basis.
A sense of purpose is a north star, a way to organize and orient one's life. If we have a purpose, we know what to do next. Purpose organizes our actions, it helps us decide what to do with our finite resources of time and attention once our obligations in life are completed, e.g. work, shopping, chores. If we have a clear purpose, we will turn toward those activities instead of mindlessly scrolling or watching tv. If we have no purpose, we wander aimlessly through life and we languish. Lack of purpose is deeply existentially upsetting and can lead to depression.
Activities that give us a sense of purpose are:
Toward a beneficial aim. Purpose offers something to the world; it’s not simply about acquiring things. For example, a sense of purpose could be “provide for my loved ones” but not “get rich.” However, getting rich may be a goal that is in support of providing for loved ones. A sense of purpose either benefits others or involves self expression, which indirectly benefits others. Self expression invites others to bring their true selves forward. Self expression allows us to be more knowable and thus enhances human connection. Furthermore, creatively expressing our internal landscapes–whether by music, dance, visual art, writing, or ceramics–creates beauty in the world for all to enjoy.
Intrinsically motivating. Some may describe activities that give them a sense of purpose as their passion. Activities that give us a sense of purpose are enjoyable in and of themselves. These activities may not give us a strong hit of feel good brain chemicals like shopping, sex, or eating a fresh baked cookie, but do offer a sense of enhanced well being.
Present-moment focused. Activities that give us a sense of purpose bring our awareness outside of ourselves. Focusing our attention on what’s in front of us enhances our present moment awareness, i.e. mindfulness. These activities often involve use of one's hands or engagement with another human being. The constant real time feedback of helping another person or throwing a clay pot means that your brain has less bandwidth to think about a painful past or stressful future. A wandering mind is an unhappy mind.
Immersive and engrossing. Activities that give us a sense of purpose often result in a flow state. We may feel deeply absorbed and lost in the activity. We may feel as though our senses are heightened and time has slowed down. There may be a sense of effortless momentum or a feeling of being “in the zone.” The mind’s incessant chatter fades and you may feel a sense of clarity and ease.
Not always easy. The flow states that often characterize the activities that give us a sense of purpose are less likely to happen during relaxation but rather during activities that are difficult yet worthwhile. Sometimes you may feel like you’re no good. But you don’t have to be a talented oil painter for oil painting to give your life purpose. Being of service to others can at times be difficult and painful.
The activities that you do that give you a sense of purpose may naturally change over time due to shifts in interest, external circumstances, or stage of life changes. There are ways, however, to protect your sense of purpose:
Avoid setting goals. Being focused on outcomes can diminish the present moment enjoyment of activities. If your goal is too easy, you may reach your goal and feel done. If your goal is too hard, you may feel discouraged.
Avoid comparisons to others. Don’t get lost in thoughts of upward comparisons. As Roosevelt said, comparison is the thief of joy. Comparison can diminish the self-esteem benefits of activities that give us a sense of purpose.
Avoid making your job your sole sense of purpose. You may be lucky enough to have work that aligns with your sense of purpose but it’s very important to have activities in your life that give you a sense of purpose outside of work. Though sometimes it may feel like you do, you cannot work all the time. Ideally your purpose can guide what to do outside of work hours.
Identify activities in your life that give you a sense of purpose. Consider journaling or sitting in quiet contemplation on the following questions:
What activities, even for a short period of time, give you a sense of relief or feel so engaging that everything else seems a little less important?
What activities make you feel better about yourself?
What activities are challenging but do not lead to feelings of shame and disappointment?
Which activities give you the sense of flow, where you are so immersed that you may lose track of time effortlessly moving from one action to the next?
Which activities allow what is inside your mind or heart to be known by others?
Develop new activities that give you a sense of purpose. We may have to try different things, develop new skills, and experiment to see what elicits a sense of immersion and engagement. Try a guided meditation to identify what you might like to try in real life.
Get settled. Close your eyes to help turn your focus inward. Take a moment to notice your body. If there are areas of tension, see if you can release them. Readjust if needed to find comfort and stillness. Take at least three deep breaths, extending the exhale just a bit longer than the inhale. See if you can inhale from the bottom of your belly to the top of your throat and exhale completely, pushing out the last bit of air with your diaphragm. Allow your breath to return to a natural state. When words or images inevitably pop up in your mind, see if you can allow them to float away like leaves on a stream.
Engage your imagination. Imagine you’re in a giant warehouse that contains anything you can imagine. If you’re into Star Trek, you can imagine the holodeck, a room that can project 3D simulations of anything in Federation space or beyond. If you prefer Harry Potter, you might think of the Room of Requirement, a room that changes depending on who opens the door and offers everything a person needs.
Experiment within your mind. Maybe there’s paint brushes and canvas, embroidery equipment, someone to whom you can offer support, a plant or animal you can care for, a drum set to bang on, a scientific lab, or a crowd with whom to protest for social change. There is everything you need to make that thing you’ve been dreaming of making or do that thing your heart has been calling you to do.
Keep experimenting! It’s easy to get stuck in a rut and lose one's sense of purpose. Try things, experiment, and play around. Don’t compare yourself to anyone else or judge the quality of your efforts. It may require you to step outside of your comfort zone a bit. Be brave, follow the thread of your curiosity, and find what speaks to you. And then try something else!